For some time I had been wondering about the ways in which these states of mind both counteract and compliment one another but had not put my inconclusive meanderings into print as they were neither original nor conclusive.
But then a recent re-reading of Graham Green's wonderful novel Monsignor Quixote provided the perfect answer. Late in the story, the Monsignor and his 'Sancho,' the communist ex-mayor of the town in which the two men live, discuss the matter .
Enrique Zancas, otherwise Sancho:
"Do you know what drew me to you in El Toboso father? It wasn't that you were the only educated man in the place. I'm not so fond of educated men as all that. Don't talk to me of the intelligentsia or culture. You drew me to you because because I thought you were the opposite of myself. A man gets tired of himself, of that face he sees every day when he shaves, and all my friends were in just the same mould as myself. I would go to Party meetings in Ciudad Real when it became safe after Franco was gone, and we would call ourselves 'comrade' and we were a little afraid of each other because we knew each other as well as each one knew himself. We quoted Marx and Lenin to one another like passwords to prove we could be trusted, and we never spoke about the doubts which came to us on sleepless nights. I was drawn to you because I thought you were a man without doubts. I was drawn to you, I suppose, in a way by envy."
Monsignor Quixote:
"How wrong you were, Sancho. I am riddled by doubts. I am sure of nothing, not even the existence of God, but doubt is not treachery as you communists seem to think. Doubt is human. Oh, I want to believe that it is all true - and that want is the only certain thing I feel. I want others to believe too - perhaps some of their belief might rub off on me. I think the baker believes."
"That was the belief I thought you had."
"Oh no, Sancho, perhaps then I could have burnt my books and lived really alone, knowing that all was true. 'Knowing', how terrible that might have been. "
Extract taken from
Monsignor Quixote by Graham Greene - Vintage Classics Paperback Edition
But then a recent re-reading of Graham Green's wonderful novel Monsignor Quixote provided the perfect answer. Late in the story, the Monsignor and his 'Sancho,' the communist ex-mayor of the town in which the two men live, discuss the matter .
Enrique Zancas, otherwise Sancho:
"Do you know what drew me to you in El Toboso father? It wasn't that you were the only educated man in the place. I'm not so fond of educated men as all that. Don't talk to me of the intelligentsia or culture. You drew me to you because because I thought you were the opposite of myself. A man gets tired of himself, of that face he sees every day when he shaves, and all my friends were in just the same mould as myself. I would go to Party meetings in Ciudad Real when it became safe after Franco was gone, and we would call ourselves 'comrade' and we were a little afraid of each other because we knew each other as well as each one knew himself. We quoted Marx and Lenin to one another like passwords to prove we could be trusted, and we never spoke about the doubts which came to us on sleepless nights. I was drawn to you because I thought you were a man without doubts. I was drawn to you, I suppose, in a way by envy."
Monsignor Quixote:
"How wrong you were, Sancho. I am riddled by doubts. I am sure of nothing, not even the existence of God, but doubt is not treachery as you communists seem to think. Doubt is human. Oh, I want to believe that it is all true - and that want is the only certain thing I feel. I want others to believe too - perhaps some of their belief might rub off on me. I think the baker believes."
"That was the belief I thought you had."
"Oh no, Sancho, perhaps then I could have burnt my books and lived really alone, knowing that all was true. 'Knowing', how terrible that might have been. "
Extract taken from
Monsignor Quixote by Graham Greene - Vintage Classics Paperback Edition
